


excuse me, what

by kimannhart



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, MIT Era, Not Beta Read, Rhodey needs to get his hearing checked, We die like real men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 09:26:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18140405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimannhart/pseuds/kimannhart
Summary: Five (5) times Rhodey thought he heard Tony curse, plus the one (1) time Tony actually did.





	excuse me, what

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arcreactor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcreactor/gifts).



> For [Isaiah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcreactor): Thank you for letting me write out your [headcanon](https://hawkbucks.tumblr.com/post/183458936159/hfjdkls-imagine-mittony-calling-some-guy). I had a blast writing this for you.
> 
> Also, this isn't beta read so all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!

**_ONE._ **

The clinking of metal on dishes, the sizzle of food meeting the hot pan, the intermittent ding of a bell, and various background chatter of other customers was what Rhodey and Tony had walked into as they stepped foot into Jericho diner. Jericho was their favorite twenty-four hour place to get food. The staff was amazing, the location was close enough to their dorm but still far enough that it made it their favorite place when they wanted to escape campus and the people, and of course the food was delectable but still a decent price.

They were greeted by their favorite host, Connor, and was immediately taken to the back of the diner, to their favorite booth. They smiled when Marcus greeted them with their go-to milkshakes, which quite honestly were a bit crazy and Tony described them as ‘diabetes in a cup’. For Tony, he always got the Little Jar of Happiness, which was a sweet banana-berry shake that was topped with whipped cream, had vanilla cake frosting, colored popcorn, skittles, a brownie pop, and a giant lollipop. Rhodey, on the other hand, always got the One Smart Cookie shake, which was a nice trio blend of oreos, chocolate, and cream. The shake was topped off with vanilla cake frosting, oreos, crushed oreos, whipped cream, and a homemade ice cream sandwich. When Tony and Rhodey first dined at Jericho for a late night study session, they decided to pick shakes for each other. Tony picked the One Smart Cookie because he thought it was what best represented Rhodey. And Rhodey picked the Little Jar of Happiness because he thought—especially after hearing the stories of Howard—some happiness was what Tony needed in his life and hoped that it would bring him a smile to his face. And ever since that night, they always got the same shakes.

They nodded when Marcus asked if they were getting their regulars—buttermilk pancakes with two strips of bacon, sunny-side up eggs, and hashbrowns for Rhodey, and a country brunch skillet and french toast for Tony.

As they waited for their food, Rhodey and Tony fell into the easy mindless chatter, simply discussing how their classes were going and their side projects were coming along. In amidst the conversation, Tony who had been spinning his fork in between his fingers had dropped the piece of cutlery. A small tinkling was heard, followed by Tony muffling.

 _Did he just… curse?_ Rhodey thought. _Did Tony really just say ‘Oh, fuck.’_

Rhodey paused and stared at Tony who pouted at his now dirty fork before calling Marcus over for a new fork. “Tones, what did you just say?”

Tony, who now felt bad about calling Marcus over, frowned before realizing that Rhodey had asked him something. “Sorry, what did you say Rhodey?”

“I just asked you what you said, I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“When I dropped my fork?”

Rhodey nodded.

“I just said, ‘Oh, fudge.’ Because you know, dropped my fork, and now I have to bug Marcus to get me a new one… Why, what did you think I said?”

Rhodey shook his head, “It’s not that important.”

Before Tony could argue, Marcus arrives back to their booth with food, two glasses of water, and a new fork for Tony on a tray.

“Food! Yay! Thank you Marcus, tell Kara and Luther thanks as well! C’mon honey bear, let’s dig in!”

**_TWO._ **

Rhodey let out a long groan as he rubbed his face. He’s been studying for a good majority of the day, only stopping to take short food and restroom breaks, and Rhodey was exhausted. He was beginning to debate on whether he should keep going on it or just call it a night when Tony come grumbling into their dorm.

He raised an eyebrow at him and watched in amusement as the short boy mumbled aloud to himself, not noticing that Rhodey was in the room. Rhodey held back a snort as Tony tossed his backpack to the floor next to his bed and face planted onto his pillow. He tried hard to listen to Tony’s mumbling—Rhodey even got off his own bed and bent down to get a better listen. All Rhodey could hear from Tony’s mumbling rant was a few words here and there, nothing that could help Rhodey piece together what Tony was complaining about. Though, it wasn’t until Rhodey heard the word “shit” that he finally let Tony be aware of his presence.

“Did you just say shit?”

Tony jumped from his position on his bed, “Oh gosh! Honey bear, you scared me! Wait, have you been here this whole time?”

Rhodey didn’t bother answering, only asking his question once more. “Tones, did you just say _shit_?”

Tony tilted his head, mouthing the curse word as if it was question, before a look of recognition appeared on his face. “Nope, I said shiitake mushroom.”

“Shiitake mushroom?” Now, it was Rhodey’s turn to be confused.

“Yeah! Because someone in my coding class has been messing up all my hard work!”

“So, let me get this straight… Someone’s been sabotaging your work in class, so you decide to call them a _shiitake mushroom_?”

Tony hums and nods.

“I- I mean I guess.”

**_THREE._ **

“RHODEYYYYY!!!!!”

Rhodey let out a small oomph as he caught Tony in his arms. He mocked disgust when he felt Tony gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Hiya Tones. How have ya been?”

And just like that, Tony immediately began to excitedly ramble. Whenever Tony had his moments like this, all Rhodey could do was smile. When Rhodey had first met Tony, the fifteen year old seemed hesitant to express his true self. If anyone asked Rhodey, he would say that the cause of that was because of Howard and his terrible ways. From that moment, with the help of Rhodey and his family, Tony has slowly been opening himself up to them and happily express himself to them.

Rhodey felt bad that he wasn’t able to follow along to what Tony was saying, but man, when that boy was excited he can talk _fast_.

“And then I said I didn’t give a flying fuck!”

And just like Rhodey released his arms around Tony, stared at the shorter boy, and held a hand up. “Wait, pause. Stop right there. Can you repeat that last sentence for me please?”

“And then I said I didn’t give a flying frick?” Tony replied before glancing up at Rhodey. “Are you okay Rhodey?”

Rhodey shook his head, dismissing Tony’s question. “Uh, yeah.” He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be honest Tones. I haven’t really been following what you’ve been saying.” His eyes widen slightly when he saw the hurt look in Tony’s eyes. “But trust me I’ve been trying!” Rhodey quickly added. “It’s just Tony, you talk _so fast_ sometimes I can’t keep up.” When the hurt look vanished, Rhodey smiled and wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders and directed them back to their dorm. “Okay, why don’t you take it back from the start this time.”

A wide grin popped onto Tony’s face as he wrapped an arm around Rhodey’s waist before eagerly diving back into what he was saying, but more slowly.

**_FOUR._ **

It was a relaxing day for Rhodey. He didn’t have that much to do for any of his classes this weekend. He silently praised his past self for being smart enough to get ahead of few weeks. So, instead of getting even more ahead, Rhodey decided to spend his weekend reading _Where the Sweet Bird Sang_ by Kate Wilhelm and _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ by Douglas Adams. The dorm room was quiet, Tony was out getting coffee and working on some project, so all that could be heard from inside the room was the turning of pages and the occasional creak of a bed as Rhodey switched positions.

The quietness was instantly interrupted the moment Tony and who Rhodey assumed was his partner for class bursted into the room. Tony raised a hand in greeting when he spotted Rhodey on the bed, “Hey honey bear. This is Nicole. We’re working on a project for class, is it okay if we brainstorm in here for a bit?”

Rhodey pursed his lips in thought before nodding, “Yeah, that’s fine. Just try to keep it down, I wanna focus on this book.”

Tony and Nicole agreed and about two hours had went by and Rhodey had honestly forgot the duo were even in the room with him until his ears picked up Tony’s voice mid-sentence _-nd I said that the bitch_. “TONY!”

Tony and Nicole jumped before looking at Rhodey with a bewildered look on both of their faces. “Yeah platypus?” Tony asked.

Rhodey shook his head, “Bitch? Really? Who are you calling a bitch?”

“I never said the b-word?” Tony replied, “I said bise. You know as in the cold and dry wind in like southern France, Switzerland, and Italy.”

The sheepish look that became visible on Rhodey’s face was automatically met with Nicole’s giggle. “Oh. Uh, my bad. I’m so sorry for my language Nicole.”

“Just get back to your reading Rhodey,” Tony snickered.

**_FIVE._ **

A yawn escaped Rhodey’s mouth as he headed back to his and Tony’s dorm. He cursed his past self for making the dumb mistake and picking to have a class at seven in the morning. Luckily, past him was smart enough to only have Thursdays be his only 7am class and a clear schedule for the rest of the day, and pas him decided to not have any Friday classes. So, that meant his weekend has basically started and he could fall back asleep before doing something more productive with his time.

Rhodey squinted his eyes as he paused his steps in the middle of his hall. _Is that? Is that music playing? What idiot would play music this loudly? At 8 o’clock in the morning?_ He shook his head as he continued walking. The closer he got to his dorm, the more Rhodey was beginning to think that Tony was the idiot who decided to be the asshole and play his music that loud. He sighed as he slid his key in and opened the door. Rhodey was about to scold Tony for his loud music before his eyes met the sight of Tony who was dancing along to the music. Rhodey snorted as he closed the door behind him and leaned his back up against it and continued watching Tony dance. He knew that if he was as nice as a person others claimed he was, he would stop playing the music before others complained to their RA and he and Tony got written up for breaking quiet hours, but in all honesty he wasn’t that nice of a person and watching Tony be carefree and happy was more important to him.

Rhodey laughed as he saw Tony shimmy his butt and move around as best he could in their small room. Though, Tony’s dancing halted when he jammed his pinky toe into his study desk, yelled out what Rhodey believed was a curse word, and flopped onto his bed.

 _Did he just say motherfucker?_ Rhodey thought. But to be honest, Rhodey wasn’t too sure since the music did kind of made it hard for him to hear. Rhodey moved to the boombox and switched it off. “Did you just say motherfucker?”

Tony winced as he held onto his toe, “Oh, hi Rhodey. I’m fine, thanks for asking. How was class? And no, I did not say that word!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Rhodey squinted his eyes at Tony before shrugging. Tony held out his foot to Rhodey. “What?” Rhodey asked.

“My toe hurts honey bear. Kiss it better?” Tony pouted.

“Ew, I am  _not_ gonna kiss your nasty ass foot Tones, no matter how much I love you.”

“But Rhodey!!!”

“No, Tony.”

**_PLUS ONE._ **

Final season had finally arrived at MIT, and that meant late night study session at Jericho. Both Tony and Rhodey hummed in satisfaction as they took their first bite of their food. No matter how many times they order their regulars, they would never get tired of it. As they ate, they began to quiz each other for their classes.

But to be honest, the actual studying only lasted about a good ten minutes before they both decided to gossip. Rhodey complained about this one girl in one of his classes not noticing his flirting attempts. Tony patted him on the hand and said that maybe the girl is oblivious to flirting. Rhodey pouted before sighing and asked if Tony has any gossip for him.

Rhodey laughed as he saw Tony roll his eyes and nodded his head. Rhoey made a _go on_ motion with his hand and Tony without hesitation began ranting. Rhodey listened intently as Tony ranted, nodding along and agreeing with certain points Tony made.

“They’re such a shitbag Rhodey. A true motherfucker,” the words falling easily from Tony’s mouth.

Rhodey who was about to take a bite of one of his bacon strips, froze at the string of curse words, dropped the bacon back onto his plate, and just stared at Tony, his mouth slightly agape. “Excuse me, what?” he says as he continues looking at Tony.

Tony looks up from his plate, “What?”

“You just… You can’t… You’re so _small_ … You shouldn’t be saying words like that. Oh my God…”

“Rhodey—”

“It’s illegal Tones.”

“It’s not _illegal_ —”

“Someone as small as you can’t be saying those words like that Tony. You can’t, it’s illegal. Who taught you these words?” Rhodey continued on mumbling to himself about how he once he finds out who taught his pure and sweet Tony those curse words he was gonna whoop their ass.

  
“B-but I… I learned them from _you_ ,” Tony softly replies, but Rhodey who was still mumbling to himself never heard it.

**Author's Note:**

> Also thank you to Katie in the winteriron discord server for telling me about those shakes at Chuck Wagon, I cant wait to visit you one day and get one of them crazy shakes!!


End file.
